Sunday, May 18, 2008

The end but The Beginning

May the 16th..... 6.00 p.m.

The point of time we exhaled in relief. The final paper is done and it'll probably be the last time we step into the examination hall (hopefully). Relieved? Of course. Glad? I have to say Yes. Sad? A little. Missing the old days? Definately

The bittersweet dilemma...............

Somehow I did not feel extremely happy about leaving Uni life. I thought I would but I was wrong. Sure I am keen to find a new job that I enjoy doing, but it's probably the transition of so many issues that pulls the motivation down. No more long breaks, fixed and probably extended working hours , that I can bear. Politics, that I'm not sure. They say never trust your colleagues whenever in an organization. I tell myself that but I know I might not be able to do so. After a while, you tend to let your guard down. You feel safe around them and they become family. It is to me, but apparently not to some. If it is true, then I'll be learning the hard way. sigh

Don't know what's wrong with me, woke up today feeling awkward. It's the feeling where you really really wanted to reach your objective so badly before, but when you finally do, it's just it. Nothing more. In fact, it felt overrated. Damn. Was also surprisingly pressured when mum asked about my job application progress. It's only the day after my exam, and I'm already interrogated on my career. I told her that I have not even unpack my school bag. I'm sure my job can wait. I don't know. Am I scared or is this what everyone will face? Consider this a Pre-job Anxiety or a Post-Study Depression? You tell me.

Past, Present and Future........ Friends?

I guess a part of my freakish realization today is also due to the fact of potential lost of friends from Uni. It may only be 3 years, but some experiences really taught me to be a better person. Be a gentleman to girls? Nah, thats just naturally me. (blowing self-trumpet, I don't care, sue me) Handling different people and seeing one with different perspectives. That's the significance. They say never judge a book by its cover. Can it really be done? Don't lie. Most would say no. I'm not lying but i think it is possible. I did it and it has provided me the best of friends. Keeping that in mind, it's not that I've never judged people before. I'm only human and I did do it a couple of times .......... no I'm not a hypocrite, I'm simply a sinner.

We see one another everyday in class. We eat together. We do assignments in groups. Be it goodtimes or conflicts, that's how we maintained the friendship. With everyone separated by their respective aims in life, what is there to strengthen the bond?

Past: I-love-you, I-hate-you friendship.
Present: Separation of reaching one's aim.
Future: Unreliable colleagues.


Past, Present and Future...... Friends?


binbin said...

hmm..why no such entry when we finished a-lvl?? shaun...tsk tsk tsk...anyway, still can hang out after uni...just not that often..i'm sure you will do fine..take care yeah...

Shaun said...

It's because i predicted we'll all be in UOL Bin..... and it wasn't 'in' to blog during that time.....have not exist yet...... muahaha

Ah-Bong said...

graduated huh? congrates! :D

reminiscing the good old days is just so depressing. blergh. wat's more when the friends are all going seperate ways right?

i feel u man. i do. and ur song helps. blergh.