Monday, September 1, 2008

If it's not now, then when?

It's already 3 a.m but I still couldn't sleep. I promised myself to enjoy the last holiday or last unemployed night to the max. So I did... having dinner with ex-GE colleagues, watching animes, drinking coffee... all the simple things I cherish in life....

But somehow my mind is still at unease.... could it be problems I am facing now or the problems I bound to face in future? ......Am I thinking too much.... I always confide myself with the fact that God is fair and everyone has their share of problems..... I am aware of my permanent problem..... something I can never change, something I have to live with, something I have to endure through the rest of my life. The pressure from others, the negative remarks, the criticisms, the pretenders and the rejections. All I can do is to be who I am and hope for acceptance.

My family has always been the biggest part of my life. I'm no mamaboy but to me family is the definite priority. Just received news that my bro in Abu Dhabi encountered some problems. Although it will be solved, I could see the worry and pain in both my parents. Worried sick that they're here, but not able to do anything to help. .....I too can only witness this helplessly........

Had a long chat with mum too and she expressed her worries to me.... her frustration..... her aggravations..... All along I thought with she having an early retirement, she will enjoy the better half of life. But I can conclude the pressure she bears now is more than her working days. The worst part of it is the idea of not being able to do anything but to pray and hope for the best........ ....What is a son to do?

I am now venturing into the corporate world. Realizing the current situation, I vow to excel in life. Of course with the intention to enjoy better things in life, but the priority is to lighten the family's burden. ..... I must.... Hence, I have to be ambitious. I no longer can afford to settle for simplicity or to earn "just enough". Sacrifices are necessary.... I will have to work hard while I'm still young.... while I still have the strength..... while the problem still exists.... No point delaying or hoping for miracles to happen....

The problems are current. Actions have to be taken.

If it's not now, then when?

3 comments:

morticya33 said...

:D Live one day at a time and do your best la.

*sayang*

Go BOY! You can do it!

Eddy Saw ™ said...

*salute*

I shall use u as a role model. Given the life I have, I have still failed in more ways that a normal person has. Go Shaun! U have my respect, my support, and my prayer. May it take u to wherever u need to go.

Shaun said...

hahaha.... thanks Jillies..... thanks Eddysaw!!! a little emo that night... but now ok d! :D